Baby Astronaut>

How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rock-et.

Baby Bee

What is a baby bee? A little humbug.

My baby swallowed a ...

Doctor, doctor, my baby's swallowed a watch!
Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time.

Doctor, doctor, my baby's swallowed a bullet.
Doctor: Well don't point him at anyone until I get there.

Baby Birth

An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.

It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child.

The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

"Well, hit him again," the child said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"