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IT'S SOooooooo HOT IN NEBRASKA THAT......It's so hot...that rich people are paying poor people to sweat on their lawns........ The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs. The cows are giving evaporated milk. The trees are whistling for the dogs. A sad Nebraskan once prayed, "I wish it would rain, not so much for me, cuz I've seen it --but for my 7-year-old." You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. You can make instant sun tea. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly. You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car. You can get a sunburn through your car window. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets. You actually burn your hand opening the car door. You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?" You realize that asphalt has a liquid state. The golf caddie's only instruction is "play for shade!" |
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