Seeing eye dogs
Two guys are walking their dogs;
one guy had a Doberman, the other a Chihuahua.
As they were walking, they passed a bar and wanted to get in. But there was a sign in the window that said: NO PETS ALLOWED!
So the guy with the Doberman said, "Let's go in as blind men with seeing-eye dogs!" They agreed that the guy with the oberman would go in first. The first guy told the barkeep that the Doberman was his seeing-eye dog, so he got in. When the second guy tried to get in, the barkeep said, "Excuse me sir but, Chihuahuas aren't seeing-eye dogs!"
And the second guy said," WHAT? THEY GAVE ME A CHIHUAHUA?!!"
Medical tests
A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too."
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650."
"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man....
"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests."
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