Parking Ticket
I went to the store the other day and I was in there for only about 5
minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a
parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said "Come on buddy, how about giving me a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a
pencil-necked Nazi.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I
called him a piece of horse s**t. He finished the second ticket and put it
on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20
minutes ... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a
little fun each day. It's important.
Do you remember the milkman?
Are you old enough to remember having your milk delivered by the milkman? Here are some funny notes left to those trusty men.
"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."
"Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."
"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"
"Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."
"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."
"Sorry about yesterdays note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round."
"When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you 'to give me a hand to turn the mattress."
"Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last nights 'Sopranos' . If you saw it, will you tell me what happened."
My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."
"Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me."
"Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."
"From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays
when I don't want any milk."
My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table , because we want to play bingo tonight."
"Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday...or is it today ?"
"When you come with the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door.
PS. Don't leave any milk."
"No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."
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