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Napoleon's Doctor A wild-eyed man dressed in a Napoleonic costume and hiding his right hand inside his coat entered the psychiatrist's office and nervously exclaimed, "Doctor, I need your help right away." "I can see that," retorted the doctor. "Lie down on that couch and tell me your problem." "I don't have any problem," the man snapped. "In fact, as Emperor of France I have everything I could possibly want: money, women, power -- everything! But I'm afraid my wife, Josephine, is in deep mental trouble." "I see," said the psychiatrist, humoring his distraught patient. "And what seems to be her main problem?" "For some strange reason," answered the unhappy man, she thinks she's Mrs. Schwartz."

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